INTRODUCTION
Modern society, with various comprehensive definitions and supported by a
combination of evolutionary theory and functional structure, assumes that
society is like a body of organisms that seeks to maintain a balance of
functions by making differentiation of functions for structural stability (Basrowi, 2005). Thus, the
differentiation of the function of family members, technological developments
and economic activities into a single meaning that produces the definition of
the family. Family, like a human being, changes from time to time or is not
fixed. The types, forms, structures and institutions of the family that we see
today are the result of a long process of development of human civilization,
and do not appear automatically. During the hunting and gathering period, the
family structure differed from that of sedentary or nomadic, pre-modern and
modern agriculture.
The process of family modernization is marked by the emergence of a
smaller family (nuclear family) that replaces the extended family. A small
family that is characterized by the behavior of being free to choose a life
partner, more concerned with individual welfare, rather than thinking about the
family (extended family) and more mutual respect and the existence of equality
between husband and wife is a situation formed from this industrial and
economic growth (Malau, 2012).
In this context, the family becomes a market arena for industry in the
name of economic growth. Various kinds of needs for wives as housewives, every
day adorn advertisements on TV ranging from kitchen necessities to the need to
take care from toe to hair (Khairuddin, 2002). Even children in the
family become the market for various kinds of food products to automobiles so
that there are many cases of accidents that happen to them.
Berger sees modernization as an alienation in human thought and life that
causes modern humans to be powerless. In this very complex world
they become "homeless" or "homeless of mind" (Boyd, 2014). Families based on various backgrounds and the inability to unite
various kinds of plurality that exist in the family and outside influences,
industrialization that co-opts, makes family members look for new spaces that
are defined as family, the new space can be in the form of public spaces that
use certain symbols. as a form of family ties. The "home of the
world" in Berger's language is a very intimate space that unites all
family members in it.
The fact revealed by Berger shows that the nuclear family has an
important meaning in modern society. The family with its various functions
becomes a means of transferring values and norms, which in the end there is
no separation between the family and the social community. Relationships and
emotional bonds that are built in the family become part of forming values
and norms in the community, society and country. A good individual will form
a good family, a good family will build a good society and country.
The success or failure of the family in carrying out its functions from
the reality or social reality that occurs. That fact is a manifestation and
result of the social actions of individuals (elements) of the family. Further
understanding of the social action can also be traced to the meaning of the
things or everything behind the action. These things are in the form of social
values, beliefs, attitudes, and goals, all of which guide the actions of an
individual on behalf of himself and his family in realizing ideals or otherwise
failing to achieve what is desired. For example, the breakdown of the nuclear
family unit due to divorce, among others, can be explained by the weak joints
of social relations between family members (husband and wife) due to mutual
suspicion (vulnerability of trust) that cannot be controlled, and so on (Ritzer, 2011).
The nuclear family as we know it, has an elemental composition consisting
of father, mother, and children. Family social relationships take place
intimately based on strong emotional and emotional bonds, where parents play a
supervising and motivating role in developing social responsibility in the
family and community.
UNESCO defines the family as a biosocial institution formed by at least
two male and female adults who are not related by blood, but are bound by
marriage, with or without/not having children. At least the family functions to
fulfill and satisfy physical and spiritual needs, including sexual needs.
Burgess (in Eshleman) argues about the general characteristics of the family are: (1) the family consists of
people who are bound by marriage, blood relationship or adoption, (2) family members living together under one roof (house) are household units
or they consider it their own home, (3) the family consists of people who interact and
communicate with each other according to their respective roles, such as
husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, brother or sister, and (4) families liven up
certain customs and cultures that are derived from the general culture
(society) and families often practice it themselves in certain forms.
The nuclear family as we know it, has an elemental composition consisting
of father, mother, and children. Family social relationships take place
intimately based on strong emotional and emotional bonds, where parents play a
supervising and motivating role in developing social responsibility in the
family and community (Yuberti, 2015). In a modern family,
the relationships between family members are constantly changing. This can be
seen from the relationship between parents and their children in the family
which seems to be no longer smooth as a result of the rapid development of
technology, especially mobile phones. The existence of mobile phones today
causes a huge influence in modern family life, where every family member, whether
father, mother, or children always has their own busy life with their
cellphones when at home, especially in the current COVID-19 pandemic
atmosphere.
It appears that in modern family life today the togetherness of parents
and children at home no longer displays intense conversational relationships,
there is no longer a family atmosphere that displays laughter, sharing stories
between parents and children, and the atmosphere of eating together in the
dining room while telling stories to each other. Supposedly, an atmosphere like
this can be done because during the current COVID-19 pandemic, all family
members are required to stay at home and carry out all activities, both office
activities, school activities, and other activities all done from home (Suyanto, 2010). The current reality
shows that although parents and children are always at home because of the
COVID-19 pandemic, they spend a lot of time just playing with their cellphones.
Each of them is busy holding their cell phone so that sometimes they forget
their responsibilities at home, both as father, mother and children. What
appears in modern family life today shows several important points about
changing parent-child relationships, namely the less parental supervision of
children, the more separated parents from their children into two different
worlds (children are trapped in a subculture). Millennial teenagers form basic
values that are very heavy with the role of parents, and parents seem
increasingly irrelevant as educators and many teenagers view their parents as
passing down values to them.
The explanation above is as seen in modern families in Hukurila Country,
South Leitimur District, Ambon City. In Hukurila Country, generally families
lead a modern lifestyle, where the relationships between parents and children
are no longer well established. This can be seen from the reduced parental
supervision of their children at home. Parents are busy with various activities
and conversely the children are also busy with their own activities. With these
conditions, the relationship between parents and children in a modern family is
not as well established as
a harmonious family should be.
The study aims to
examine and explain the forms of changes in the relationship between parents and
children in modern families during the COVID-19 pandemic.
METHOD
A.
Research Type
In this study, the method used is a qualitative
research method. According to Bogdan and Taylor in (Moleong, 2021)
qualitative methodology is a research procedure that produces descriptive in the form of written or
spoken words from people and observable behavior. By using this qualitative
research method, researchers can describe and explain the changing relationship
between parents and children in a modern family during the COVID-19 pandemic in
Hukurila, South Leitimur
District, Ambon City.
B. Research Location
The research on Changes in Parent-Child
Relationships in Modern Families During the COVID-19 Pandemic is Hukurila, South Leitimur
District, Ambon City. This is done with the consideration that in the country
there has been a change in the relationship between parents and children in
modern families during the COVID-19 pandemic.
C. Data Sources
Data sources in qualitative research are by
means of interviews, observations, photos or documentation and others (Herdiansyah, 2013). Thus, the
informants obtained can be maximized, this study uses secondary data sources
and primary data sources:
1) Secondary data is data obtained through various
sources such as references from libraries or the internet, data from
state/village offices, and data from other agencies related to the research
title.
2) Primary data is data
obtained directly through observations and direct interviews of researchers
with pre-determined informants.
D. Research
Informants
In qualitative research, informants according
to Moleong (2021), are people who
are used to provide information about the situation and are carried out in a
way, (1) through information from authorized people, both formally (government)
and informally (community leaders, such as community leaders, traditional
leaders and others), (2) through preliminary interviews conducted.
Based on the description above, the
determination of informants uses purposive sampling with the following
informant criteria:
a) Families whose husband/wife work as
breadwinners selling fruits and vegetables at the mardika
market and their children aged 7-10 years and 2 children.
b) A family whose husband works as a tuna
fisherman and a wife as a breadwinner selling fresh fish/ papalele
and smoked/ asar fish, their children are 10-15 years
old and 2 children.
c) A family whose father works in a company and
his wife works as a teacher/ Civil Servant, family members, namely boys aged
15-17 years, work as motorcycle taxi drivers.
d) Families whose fathers work as farmers and
wives work selling at tourist attractions, family members, namely sons and
daughters aged 15-17 years, who work as tour guides. Thus, the number of
informants in this study amounted to 16 people consisting of parents’ husband /
wife 8 people and their children 8 people.
E. Data Collection Techniques
Data collection techniques
in qualitative research are carried out through observation and in-depth interviews. Observation is an activity of observing,
systematically recording events, behaviors, objects seen and other things
needed to support the research being carried out. According to Subagio (2004), Observation is a data collection
technique in the form of direct observation to the research location and using
sensitivity to uncover and read problems in the moments that occur.
According to Mc Milan and
Schumacher (Iskandar, 2009)
in-depth interviews are open questions and answers to obtain data about the
intentions of the participants' hearts how to describe events or phenomena
related to setting through dialogue between researchers. as an interviewer with
the informant. In order to obtain the data needs, the researchers conducted
in-depth interviews with pre-determined informants. Researchers hope that by
conducting in-depth interviews, important and correct data can be obtained to
answer the needs of researchers at the time of writing the report. Secondary
data obtained through previous studies, journals and supporting literature.
F. Data Analysis
Data analysis technique in this study was
carried out qualitatively. The data obtained in the preliminary, development,
and validation stages were analyzed using qualitative techniques. The
qualitative technique referred to in this case is the data triagulation
technique, with the method of comparing data sources. In the preliminary stage,
secondary data are compared to other secondary data, and data from the results
of initial observations.
In the development
stage, the data sourced from the research results are analyzed with data
sourced from verification limited to certain informant criteria and data from
expert tests. The data at the validation stage were also analyzed using the
triangulation technique by comparing the evaluation data and model refinement
with data from the test results on the criteria of the informants. The
interaction between these two data is then analyzed qualitatively, which then
becomes the final data on changes in the relationship between parents and
children in modern families during the COVID 19 pandemic in Hukurila.
RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
A. Parents Less Parental Supervision
for Children
The evolution of family that has
taken place includes not only changes in marital relations, but equally
important changes in the nature of the relationship between parents and their
children, especially their adolescent children. Those relationships have
changed a long time ago, but in the past two or three decades in modern
families especially during this COVID-19 pandemic, those changes have happened
very quickly. These changes are in the direction of decreasing parental
supervision of their children, especially families whose husbands work as tuna
fishermen and their wives work as breadwinners selling fish/ papalele and smoked fish/ asar
whose children are aged Teenagers are 10-15 years old.
Furthermore, based on the findings
in the field by researchers, it can be seen that for children aged 7-10 years
old, parents always remind their children if they play more than their time in
everyday life, actually it's only natural, if children play more than their
time. from those determined by their parents, because the period in which
children grow and develop, and curiosity is very large, therefore they often
take actions that they think they are new to, therefore many children forget
the time when are busy playing with their peers. For families whose parents
work in companies and their wives work as civil servants/teachers whose family
members are boys aged 15-17 years old working as motorcycle taxi drivers.
Parents provide opportunities for their children to do something without
sufficient supervision from them, they tend not to reprimand or warn their
children if they act in a dangerous manner, so that the child cannot be
controlled anymore, unlimited freedom for their children to behave accordingly.
own desire. Parents never reprimand or give advice or direction to children.
All decisions are left to the child without parental consideration, the child
does not know his behavior is right or wrong because parents never justify or
blame the child. As a result, children will behave according to their own wishes,
regardless of the values and norms that apply in the family or in society.
Likewise, for children aged 15-17
years old, both boys and girls who work as tour guides and work selling at
tourist attractions, they experience difficulties during the Covid 19 pandemic
because the government implements health protocol regulations in public places
/ public spaces and also in public places. tour. This phenomenon causes the
loss of work/income for teenagers who work in tourist attractions, during the
COVID 19 pandemic and even the loss of relationships that have been going on so
far, especially local guests/ tourists or tourists from other regions who often
visit tourist attractions in the country. Hukurila
who became an icon of beach tourism and diving tours to see its underwater.
B. Increasingly Distant Relationships between
Parents and Children Due to Millennial Association and Subculture Environment
The crisis in the parent-child relationship
centered around us is the problem of child behavior, emotional disturbances
that are fundamental in adolescence. In the parent-child relationship there are
deviations from parental expectations which may, in broad terms, include
behavioral problems. The following include deviations found at the research
location for children from families whose husbands work as fishermen catching
tuna fish and wives work as breadwinners, namely selling fresh fish/ papalele, in everyday life the values taught by parents to
children. Childhood children are increasingly fading from their memories after
they are teenagers and adults, because they are influenced by the environment
in which they play and the environment in which they work. These children have
formed independence and are accustomed to taking care of their own needs, both
clothing and food and other needs. The nature of children who tend to be
negative cannot simply be concluded because of the tendency of two parenting
patterns adopted by parents, namely authoritarian parenting and parenting.
Premise. It causes the children tend to feel disappointed because of the loss
of the role of parents.
A role is defined as a normative expectation
attached to a certain position in the social structure. In the family
structure, the normative role of parents is as caregivers of children who can
fulfill family functions in the form of socialization, affection, definition of
status, protection and economy. With the condition of children who are fully
cared for by extended families or nuclear families, the full role of parents is
needed, so that the normative expectations of children on the role of their
parents do not cause disappointment for children who feel that the role of
their parents is missing. This disappointment is one of the causes of such a
child's nature.
C. Parents are seen as
passing on only a few values of life to their children
In White et al. (2005), the family is
categorized as a system where the subsystem is an individual as a family member
who has been socialized to act according to a set of existing values and
norms. According to Parsons (in Clients and White, 2002), there are two basic
functions of a family, both of which are closely related. The main function of
the family is as a place of primary socialization to produce individuals who
carry cultural values and norms that allow them to be integrated into the
social system as actors. The next function is that the family is needed by
adult individuals as personality stabilization. Parsons in (White et al., 2005)
also said that the relationship between mother and child is very important for
the socialization of children into the social system. The socialization
referred to in this study is related to the parenting given to children.
Parenting is a series of
actions and interactions carried out by parents to help children develop in
physical, psychological, and social aspects (Brooks, 1981). Boyd et al., (2015)
divide parenting into 3, including authoritative parenting, which is defined as
parenting that maintains and is responsive, namely a situation where parents
use a rational and democratic approach. Then, permissive parenting is
characterized by responsive but not demanding parenting. In this case there is
an inconsistency in applying the value of discipline. Where children's behavior tends to be left unpunished even though it is
considered bad. Authoritarian parenting is characterized by parenting that is
defensive in nature but tends to be less responsive to the rights and desires
of the child because it emphasizes the obedience of the child without giving
the child the opportunity to ask questions and comment. In addition to the
three parenting styles, Maccoby and Martin in (Boyd, 2014) added
one category of uninvolved parenting. Uninvolved parenting is a parenting
pattern that is unsustainable and unresponsive. In every different situation in
a family, it will produce a different pattern of relationships (White et al., 2005), as well as in a
family consisting only of parents and children or in other words a family whose
child care is given to parents. This study found that there are two trends in
parenting, namely: permissive parenting and parenting in the middle of the
permissive and authoritarian categories.
Based on the results of this
study, it is illustrated that a serious crisis arises when the choices desired
by adolescents are different from those desired by parents. This is
particularly difficult when the employment status of the parents of the
teenagers is considered lower than expected by the family and especially if
this is a consideration in society such as odd jobs, farm labor
and others. However, if the parent's occupational class position remains, then
juvenile delinquency is higher for broken families than for intact families.
CONCLUSION
The conclusions from the discussion are: 1) the
less parental supervision of children so that the socialization function
carried out by parents in the family is aimed at preventing children's
disappointment in the loss of parental roles and also bridging children to get
the transformation of values. good and bad values in the family and society, 2)
family conditions that have different structures have an impact on the
separation of parents from their children into two different worlds (children
are trapped in a millennial youth sub-culture), where children live in the same
house with their parents, grandparents and grandmothers who fully produce different
patterns of relationships and problems. The trend of parenting found in this
study is permissive with authoritarian parenting, while democratic parenting is
more commonly found in families whose parenting is done by parents, 3) in the
socialization carried out by families for children when intervened by
grandparents, then the problem arises that there is indulgence and freedom that
is often done by children, especially teenagers, so that they pretend to
forget, or do not remember the what their parents have taught them, as well as
their indifference to the values taught by their parents, and 4) adolescents'
attitudes in family life view their parents as increasingly irrelevant as
educators, because their parents have only passed down good and true values to
their teenage children so that these children often choose what they want
without realizing it. heed the advice of parents.
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